Similolu's Blog : ME, TRUST….. NEVER? (2)

Similolu's Blog : ME, TRUST….. NEVER? (2): … And so it happens that I meet people and my defenses come up, and my heart screams “this one also wants to hurt me”. Frankly speaking, th...

ME, TRUST….. NEVER? (2)

… And so it happens that I meet people and my defenses come up, and my heart screams “this one also wants to hurt me”. Frankly speaking, these people come on a solely platonic basis, seeking friendship, just pure friendship and I go like “What exactly does this one want?” Do you know that feeling? It’s a feeling that comes when you become a jailer in the prison you have put yourself, when you suspect everybody and make your life a ”Red zone”. Maybe yours is not that bad, you just have erected some solid bars round your life due to your experiences, bars so solid and strong that even the strongest of people cannot break through. You know, they tell us experience is the best teacher. I don’t exactly agree with this because though experience may do some teaching, it could leave scars and pains that may never be recovered from… Believe me; the best teachers will always leave you better, not in an irrecoverable state as some experiences do.

So, let’s go… this is what I think:

·      Trust is a risk: When we trust, we allow some outcomes of our life go out of our control and partly or completely into the control of someone else, on whose faithfulness and ability we have chosen to rely on. Trust is a risk we must take at some points in life. Permit me to call it a “necessary risk”.

·      Man is frail: An adage says the best of man is still man… People fail sometimes, people slip sometimes and people disappoint sometimes. We’re all human and are prone to errors. The fact that a particular person fails or misplaces our trust does not mean one should stop trusting.

·      Vulnerability is beautiful: Contrary to how it looks sometimes, especially as concerns trust, it takes strength to be vulnerable…. weak people are actually the ones that always play defensive in all their dealings; strong people get on the attack! Being vulnerable is breaking through the solid bars of defense and getting  on the attack, ready to take the big risk of trusting!

So if you ask me, I’m ready to take risks again, I’m ready to jump, I’m ready to fly and I'm ready to trust again! Are you?

ME, TRUST…… never? (1)

I’ve had quite a lot of experiences in my young life… some I have had to wonder why I went through, some I was happy I went through and some I never thought I could go through. They all have one thing in common… I went through them.

I wiped hot tears off my face, swallowed the salty saliva that had gathered in my mouth, looked up, touched my chest and promised myself NEVER to trust…..what is the point of trusting? I’d rather trust a dog than humans. If you think I keep things to myself, it’s not because I’m secretive or deceptive, it’s just a way to keep people off my life so I don’t become vulnerable to the extent of being hurt. Yes, vulnerability-Trust makes you vulnerable and vulnerable people are weak people, at least, that’s what I have been made to think. But wait… should I really trust again? How do I trust someone who went deep into my heart, drew out my most innermost feelings, gets into some of the most private details of my life (the type you whisper to GOD) and then throws it away in the wind and shares it with “someone” who then shares it with another “someone” till my private life is made public.

This is a heart echo, one that indicates what goes on in many hearts…..hearts that have been through something called pain, hearts that hurt so bad and have been dented by various occurrences.  *Sighs* Trust is a subject I’ve been thinking about for quite a while now and I’ll say trust is “voluntarily making yourself totally dependent on another for some outcome or another, or for some result or consequence”. Trusting is like presenting someone a blank sheet of paper…… its left to the person what becomes of the paper. But let’s think together: Should a single incident stop one from trusting? Should one cut off the head just because of a headache? Will bars erected round one’s heart provide sure protection against hurting? At what point should one stop trusting?

Join me in the next post as we dig deeper into TRUST and how it plays in our lives. Please don’t forget to drop your comments and also feel very free to disagree with me on any issue.

Thanks for dropping by.

Similolu 

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I am Mosimiloluwa, a young, intelligent, creative and dynamic Ibadan babe(who says there are no babes in Ib.). I am not the kind of lady you meet in everyday life, I could be very different and I enjoy exceptionalism a whole lot. I love talking about God, love, life, money and a couple of other things that interest me.

 Reading my posts will be journeying together with me as I grow, learn and love and I implore you to come right into the car and get ready for a sweet bumpy ride!!!!

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Mosimiloluwa