THE MAN OF MY DREAMS by Adegoke Olawunmi

So my friend, Olawunmi, decided to dip her hands into her heart to bring out a poem. She came up with one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read. Please enjoy it and leave your comments below...

The man of my dreams                                                      

 Can't wait for dusk to fall                                          

To catch a glimpse of him                                                

 Though the night may seem short                                         

 It’s always a feel of heaven on earth                                                                                                                                                

The man of my dreams                                                

An admire to all                                             

Gorgeous and well crafted                                               

Heaven knows and well speak                                                        

 His name with time I will know and tell                         

Ifeanyichuckwu I call him for now                                           

 Ifeanyichuckwu                                                                                                        

His face I love to see                                                        

 I will squint my eyes to stare                                                                                        

 Even in darkest of night                                         

 Till we see and meet in face    

 Ifeanyichuckwu.                                                         

 Ever seated amongst the kings                                  

 A Geber for real I know                                            

 He shall cover my under garment                           

 For none other save him to see                                                                                   

His heart finds trust                                                                    

As he delights in me by day          

Ifeanyichuckwu                                                                                                         

Bends knees at rising                                           

And never bares his back on bed                                        

Without flipping through pages of    script                                                                                                                                 

 Little wonder he's an embodiment of wisdom    

Ifeanyichuckwu                                                       

 God's very beloved                                                                                               

Whose members are kept safe                               

Till that very day                                                                                       

 We both say I do before Him                                                                                          

 And all bare record to the command kept

Ifeanyichuckwu

I behold and see Him in him                                                         

 My heart is captured from within                                         

My senses intact I keep

The man of my dreams shall come to me in due time                                                                                

 Fair or dark he may be                                                         

 I will choose to care less                                                   

Then I will know and say                                                                                                      

 "Ifeanyichuckwu is sent from God himself”                    

Olawunmi can be contacted at wunmytte@yahoo.com

NIGERIA AT 70

I took time this morning to go over the course of events in the past 55 years.

Truth be told, if after everything we have been through in this country, we still stand and we still refer to Nigeria as Nigeria, then we have done well with holding faith in our possibilities. Truth is, with that FAITH blended with UNITY, we’ll have PEACE and PROGRESS as yields.

Timi Dakolo always does it for me with his song on Nigeria…

*********

I project to 15 years' time and I see a Country where EVERYTHING works

A civil society where everybody sees the success of the Federal Republic as a JOINT RESPONSIBILITY

A place where people operate with Natural Excellence and achieve outstanding results.

I see growth in Our Economy, I see the Economy diversified with multiple streams of income for the Country and multiple exploration of the many beautiful resources we have been endowed with

I see transparency and accountability in all leadership positions. I see Servant Leaders and people of Integrity rise to the occasion

I see with all brightness the ‘death’ of corruption

I see Civil Servants that are ready to give their best to ensure that the country is effectively and efficiently run…administrative processes that result in positive yields that can be evidently seen

I see the Educational system work with experts in different field produced.

I see Innovation per excellence. I see ideas and strategies being conceived and implemented

I see Statistics that are a true reflection of the state of things. I see Policies that WORK

I see ALL sectors work…from Health to Power to Security to Infrastructure to Aviation to EVERYTHING

I see a government which is OF the people indeed, by the people indeed and FOR the people indeed.

Arise O’Compatriots, Nigeria’s Call Obey!

God Bless Our Nigeria

Happy Independence!!!

Yes,Sex....So what?

                                                                 Originally published January 22, 2014

I stared at him in unbelief.” No, this cannot be true”, I said to myself. He continued talking “yes, that’s where grace comes in, after committing a sin; you ask God to  forgive you and you move on; Simi, do you think sexual sins are so grievous that God won't forgive? Each time I have sex with a lady, I ask for forgiveness and I move on with life”. I was shocked at the statement. This was a discussion with a ”Christian” friend who told me about how grace will always cover his sins.

Just when I left him, wondering the manner of men we have in this world, I met another “church” guy who asked me out and promised to give me the deepest kiss of my life the day I give him a yes, all the while I was talking to him, he was busy paying attention to my lips and it was obvious that he got attracted to what he could see only and not the woman in me. Shock was an understatement this time around; I was shaken to my foundations. I left that day promising myself never to even mistakenly mention the word “Yes” to him even in our subsequent casual conversations.

A friend, Favour Omoruyi posted something on Facebook. He said “if there is one thing the church has always done, it is to keep quiet on some sensitive and important issues... I feel the time of silence is long over”. We don’t really talk much about Sex in church; some people even feel that the word “Sex” should not be mentioned in the Church because the Church is a “holy ground” but wait… who created Sex? Who made it an act of worship to Him between a man and a woman within the sacred confines of marriage? Is it not God? So why do we act as though sex is so unholy and dirty?

Well, I've learned not to argue scriptures... it's a waste of time to do so, but I am of the opinion that grace is not a license to sin; grace is a teacher. The bible says the grace of God that brought salvation has appeared to all men,TEACHING us that having denied impiety and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, and justly, and piously in the present course of things. Grace does not tolerate sin, grace teaches us to live right. So, if I would answer the first guy, I would say God is not a fool; we cannot continue in sin and expect grace to abound.  God forgives truly… but God should not be taken as a fool. And to the second guy, I’ll doff my hat to the guy who looks beyond a lady’s curves, hip, lips and fingertips and looks into her heart and her soul to discover the woman she is. I’ll respect a guy who is not only attracted to the way I look, but to my potentials, my abilities, a guy who will sow seeds to see me grow, a guy who will look into my eyes when my dark long hair has turned gray and my smooth chocolate African skin has wrinkled and still see the beauty in me.

Enough of these panting after a woman’s body like it is oxygen, enough of these Sex craziness in our culture… we need men and women to rise, people that despite the decadence in our society will stick to God’s word and wait for sex till marriage. We need men that will make up their minds to stay faithful to God and their spouses despite the raging hormones and nude ladies all over the place and women that will stand firm in decency and never compromise their stand.

 May God help us all.

Nigeria's Educational System. See this...

I got to the school around 10:26am.  I saw pupils gathering stones outside. I muttered to myself, ‘What on earth are these big stones needed for?’ Some of these pupils looked really tired and miserable while the others looked hungry, I later got to know some had not taken breakfast and had come to school ‘emptily stomached’ that day. I asked myself, ‘What’s the methodology of teaching hungry pupils?’ I later learnt the teachers were last paid 6 months ago-‘Wait…how do they survive and cater for their own families?’ Well, the straw that broke the Carmel’s back was that their promotional examination questions were written on the blackboard for them to answer *DeepSigh*

Now, Nigeria is a great Country. In the Nigeria I was born into, people still laugh and smile. Businesses still boom, ideas still thrive and results still get achieved in My Nigeria. I don’t intend joining the millions that address our weaknesses without applauding our strengths.

However, the educational system, particularly Public Education needs to be paid serious attention to. Quality education for the Youth is a nation’s greatest assurance of a worthy future. I remember discussing with the headmistress of the school I went and asking her whose responsibility it is to take care of children- the government or the parent? She paused and stared into space like my question took her to the depth of her core beliefs. I’ll have to answer that myself.

I’m not ready to debate whose responsibility it is.

What I think;

Abraham Lincoln defined Democracy as government of the people, by the people for the people. If this has been mutually agreed to be true across all cultures, then the government has a principal role to play in making life easy for the people and in making education luxurious, interesting and affordable.  As much as parents should be responsible for their children (I mean… why bring children into this world without plans for their survival?), I still think that the government is responsible for the people. If education should be 25% of the National budget, then let it be. Incorporate plans, implement policies and yes…. Flush out corruption and its perpetrators.

I still see it. I see nations wondering how Nigeria gets things done. I see people trooping to Nigeria to see how our systems and institutions work. I see a land that flows with so much milk and honey. I see our children compete favourably and lead children from other great countries of the world. I see Nigeria being referred to as a developed country and our economy, one of the leading world economies.

It will happen in my lifetime.

Cheers to the weekend!
Mosimiloluwa.

THE WOMAN AND THE CULTURE

‘Ssshhhhhhhhhh……….keep quiet! Don’t you know women are better heard when silent?’ says Culture in lots of African countries.

I was on my way from the community market in Ile-Ife, Osun State on Tuesday. I entered a public bus and mid-way back home, we got to a bad part of the road where we were delayed because the car in front of us which was obviously driven by a woman had to navigate through the road. Suddenly, the driver bloated out- ‘Obinrin ni jare, ko perfect! (meaning she’s a woman, she’s not perfect!). Well, trust me; I had a 5 minute discussion with the man on the difference between GENDER and COMPETENCE.

Culture has been defined as the totality of the way of life of a group of people. Culture influences almost everything. This includes our values, our belief system, the way we see things, our language, our dressing etc etc. The truth is this, for so long, culture has taught us that women are not perfect like the bus driver thinks and that women can rarely pull great stunts; that women should be silenced, that women should stay away from family meetings and have no input into decision making. You see this in instances where the girl-child stays at home to learn how to ‘keep the kitchen’ while the male-child goes to school. You see this when a family elders meeting is called and you wonder if female elders don’t exist in the clan. You see this when a woman is blamed by her husband’s family for giving birth to female children only (For God’s sake, the man repeatedly donated the X-Chromosome- if you ever have to blame, which is totally uncalled for anyways, face him instead!)

What I think….

Things have to change. The culture that promotes female subjugation is a blindfold: It prevents us from seeing far and seeing well. Such culture limits and imprisons, we should break out of that.

I define Change as a journey that starts when the problem is defined and ends when the solution is provided. Change is when you see that woman who sits near you as human and you listen to her input. Change is when the women sit up at the family meetings and lend their voice. Change is when we choose to challenge conventional wisdom and give way for the woman.

Remember! Culture is made for the people, not people for the culture-Chimamanda Adichie.

Be that change, free that woman and see her fly.

Cheers to the weekend!

Mosimiloluwa.

LEAN IN…..as Sheryl Sandberg puts it

Moyin came into the room and asked,‘Simi, where are the women?!’

She uttered the exact thoughts I had been battling with a few minutes before she came in. I was wondering why we had very, very few women sitting up at the tables, why there were lesser skirts in the boardrooms and why the legislative arm of government had just a handful of women who stand up to decision making processes that affect their sons and daughters and loved ones.

On my desktop wallpaper, there’s this treasured picture I have showing the 5 presidents of the countries that make up BRICS- Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa. The only woman in the picture is the president of Brazil… seeing her made me proud, you know, at least, there was a woman in the picture, but I still silently wondered and asked  myself,’Similolu, where are the women?’

Just as I was ruminating on these thoughts, I was invited to be the compere at NACOSS (Nigerian Association of Computer Science Students) National Convention. The convention was centered on increased female participation in IT. All the presentations were laced with facts that proved that things were way more terrible than I thought - the number of females involved in IT is very low… In Africa, it is ‘lowerly’ lower than I could have conceived in my wildest imaginations. Still boils down to the same question; Where are the women?

Adepeju Jaiyeoba, a phenomenal Nigerian lawyer, entrepreneur and CEO of Brown Button Foundation finally made a statement that was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me after a long week of mind-battle. She said there was a program organized for the Nigerian youth by a United States Initiative, YALI, and out of 100 applicants, only 9 were females....Can you imagine?????

The question is this, where are the women?

Am I supposed to be somewhere at the back, far at the back because I am a woman?

Am I supposed to live an average life because I’m a woman?

Do life pursuits and aspirations end when a woman gets married?

Is Being Female= Being Passive?

Why should I be quiet when decisions that affect me and my future children are being made?

Why?

************

(This is first in a series of about 4 posts. Let’s reason together. I’ll give replies to all comments and I’m promising objectivity-NO skewedness to the left or right to support any gender)

THE MEN IN MY LIFE….MY LOVE STORY

When I was in Junior Secondary School, a  teacher asked us in class ‘What is love?’ Well, I was about 12 years young and had no real definition of love. Yes, I used the word a lot and as a proud Church girl (#ProudChurchGirl) we were taught about God and love, still, I couldn't find words to describe what love was. After school that day, I ran home and went to check for the dictionary meaning of love. I read in Oxford’s Advanced Learners Dictionary that ‘Love is a strong feeling of affection for somebody or something’.  I repeated it till it stuck in my head and imagined myself dazzling the whole class the next day at school.

The next day came and Uncle (as we fondly called our teachers) asked again, ‘What is love?’ I raised up my hand and with a very loud, feminine voice so everybody could hear, I said; Love is a strong feeling of affection for somebody or something!. The whole class was in grave silence and all attention was towards me. Uncle looked at me with so much amazement and I was the star of that day- the only girl who could define love. *Smiles* Little did I know my definition of love was about to change.

Well, I won’t bore you with the stories of my crushes :D (I’ve had a number of them though, so you don’t think I’m a stick without emotions) but if you ask me, I think of Love differently now. The dictionary was too abstract to define Love for me. Experience has taught me that much more than the ‘STRONG FEELING’, Love is a decision. If you are a woman like me who doesn’t think dating is for fun and doesn’t consider heartbreaks as easy walkovers, Love is a DECISION. A decision to have and to hold only made by matured people, not babies. The feeling of love won’t keep two people together for 60,70,80 years, it is the decision to stay together that does… that no matter what, come what may, I’m staying with you.

I should make that decision soon.

***************

The men in my life will make such a long list and a big book…..I’ll just list the first three in the order I met them.

The first man in my life, the man who my whole idea of masculinity revolves round, my teacher,  my instructor, world’s greatest disciplinarian( He believes in ‘sparing not the rod’ and he caned me well), my friend and my father- Reverend Koye-Ladele ( fondly called Father Ko) . Dad, words cannot quantify how much influence you’ve had on me. I’m so proud to be a ‘Koye-Ladele’ and I love you from here to the moon and back.

My brother, Mogbekeloluwa. *whew* Where do I start from? Gbeke is greatness personified! Greatness wearing t-shirt and jeans.  I have got a lot of attention in ALL the schools I’ve attended because of him. He once told people at his birthday, ‘If you think I’m awesome, watch out for Simi’. I was shocked! He believes in me. He’s such a big brother. Mum told me I had some 9 months Typhoid when I was 3 years old and my baby big brother at that time took up the responsibility of cleaning me up all through. Chai, He’s also blunt- we like to call his bluntness candor :D . You don’t want to hear the truth from my brother; He gives it to you RAW. I love you bro…so much, so so much.

So I tell everybody who cares to listen about a young man I know. His name is Mofehintoluwa. God! I boldly say that Tolu is an explosive. I remember his cute eyes when we brought him home from the hospital and mummy welcomed him to Nigeria. He’s a big boy now and I dare not tell him I once bathed for him :D He’s such a great guy! Tolu, despite the fact I’m presently not happy with you, I want you to know I love you. You’re a phenomenon Tolu and I’m watching out for you BIG TIME. You’re shaking the world, we see it already!

Finally, there’s this young, handsome man I ………. *end of post*

*TonguesOut*

Cheers to the weekend.

Enjoy your day!

Similoluwa.

Resolutions again???

Hello People!!!

Welcome to the new year!

Well, the year has started for most people while some of us are still in the booting stage *winks*.
This harmattan is not even helping at all. I told a friend that I woke up at 7am and she asked,'Why did you wake so early?'. I wonder when 7am became early ooooo. {Now, I wake earlier, though :)}

This year, I've resolved to do new things and go new places, to break boundaries and challenge conventions. Yes, these are my resolutions. Honestly, all these will require lots of diligence and determination so I don't join the group of 'mere talkers', I know- I really do. I told myself on 1st January,  'Simi, go for gold this time' and trust me, I'm going for it all the way, daring and defying the ordinary as I move through life.

Right from the 2015 general elections in Nigeria to all the little 'big' events that promise to happen this year, I know 2015 will be adventure-full.

Remember, I'm journeying through life with you...yes, YOU!

Let's go!