‘Ssshhhhhhhhhh ………. keep quiet! Don’t you know women are better heard when
silent?’ says Culture in lots of African countries.
I was on my way from the community market in Ile -Ife, Osun State on
Tuesday. I entered a public bus and mid-way back home, we got to a
bad part of the road where we were delayed because the car in
front of us which was obviously driven by a woman had to navigate through the
road. Suddenly, the driver bloated out- ‘Obinrin ni jare , ko perfect!
(meaning she’s a woman, she’s not perfect!). Well, trust me; I had a 5
minute discussion with the man on the difference between GENDER and
COMPETENCE.
Culture has been defined as the totality of the way of life of a group
of people. Culture influences almost everything. This includes our values, our
belief system, the way we see things, our language, our dressing etc etc.
The truth is this, for so long, culture has taught us that women are not
perfect like the bus driver thinks and that women can rarely pull great stunts; that women should be silenced, that
women should stay away from family meetings and have no input into decision
making. You see this in instances where the girl-child stays at home to learn
how to ‘keep the kitchen’ while the male-child goes to school. You see this
when a family elders meeting is called and you wonder if female elders don’t
exist in the clan. You see this when a woman is blamed by her husband’s family
for giving birth to female children only (For God’s sake, the man repeatedly
donated the X-Chromosome- if you ever have to blame, which is totally uncalled
for anyways, face him instead!)
What I think….
Things have to change. The culture that promotes female subjugation is a
blindfold: It prevents us from seeing far and seeing well. Such culture limits
and imprisons, we should break out of that.
I define Change as a journey that starts when the problem is defined and
ends when the solution is provided. Change is when you see that woman who sits
near you as human and you listen to her input. Change is when the women sit up
at the family meetings and lend their voice. Change is when we choose to
challenge conventional wisdom and give way for the woman.
Remember! Culture is made for the people, not people for the
culture-Chimamanda Adichie.
Be that change, free that woman and see her fly.
Cheers to the weekend!
