Yes,Sex....So what?

                                                                 Originally published January 22, 2014

I stared at him in unbelief.” No, this cannot be true”, I said to myself. He continued talking “yes, that’s where grace comes in, after committing a sin; you ask God to  forgive you and you move on; Simi, do you think sexual sins are so grievous that God won't forgive? Each time I have sex with a lady, I ask for forgiveness and I move on with life”. I was shocked at the statement. This was a discussion with a ”Christian” friend who told me about how grace will always cover his sins.

Just when I left him, wondering the manner of men we have in this world, I met another “church” guy who asked me out and promised to give me the deepest kiss of my life the day I give him a yes, all the while I was talking to him, he was busy paying attention to my lips and it was obvious that he got attracted to what he could see only and not the woman in me. Shock was an understatement this time around; I was shaken to my foundations. I left that day promising myself never to even mistakenly mention the word “Yes” to him even in our subsequent casual conversations.

A friend, Favour Omoruyi posted something on Facebook. He said “if there is one thing the church has always done, it is to keep quiet on some sensitive and important issues... I feel the time of silence is long over”. We don’t really talk much about Sex in church; some people even feel that the word “Sex” should not be mentioned in the Church because the Church is a “holy ground” but wait… who created Sex? Who made it an act of worship to Him between a man and a woman within the sacred confines of marriage? Is it not God? So why do we act as though sex is so unholy and dirty?

Well, I've learned not to argue scriptures... it's a waste of time to do so, but I am of the opinion that grace is not a license to sin; grace is a teacher. The bible says the grace of God that brought salvation has appeared to all men,TEACHING us that having denied impiety and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, and justly, and piously in the present course of things. Grace does not tolerate sin, grace teaches us to live right. So, if I would answer the first guy, I would say God is not a fool; we cannot continue in sin and expect grace to abound.  God forgives truly… but God should not be taken as a fool. And to the second guy, I’ll doff my hat to the guy who looks beyond a lady’s curves, hip, lips and fingertips and looks into her heart and her soul to discover the woman she is. I’ll respect a guy who is not only attracted to the way I look, but to my potentials, my abilities, a guy who will sow seeds to see me grow, a guy who will look into my eyes when my dark long hair has turned gray and my smooth chocolate African skin has wrinkled and still see the beauty in me.

Enough of these panting after a woman’s body like it is oxygen, enough of these Sex craziness in our culture… we need men and women to rise, people that despite the decadence in our society will stick to God’s word and wait for sex till marriage. We need men that will make up their minds to stay faithful to God and their spouses despite the raging hormones and nude ladies all over the place and women that will stand firm in decency and never compromise their stand.

 May God help us all.